Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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