Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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