My hand turned me down
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
