he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
