So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
