Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
