he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
