When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
