and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
