walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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