You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
