Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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