youre lurking in front of me
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You pole danced in your parka.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
