she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
