There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
