she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
