You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I need moral support for this bender
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
