U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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