at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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