every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
