She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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