I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
