Sry I called you an 8
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
