Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
