I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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