somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
