the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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