Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
