He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
