i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
