I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
