accomplished twins. life is a go
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
