Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
