She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
