This girl is more easily done than said...
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
