My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
