And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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