And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
