1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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