Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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