My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
