i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
