Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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