and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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