his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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