I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Randomize
