your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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