what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Randomize
