i just google imaged poop.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
