So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The air was thick with penises
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
