I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
