I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
